Shopping for clothes (so I'll look better and thus be able to help more animals at events, of course, because I need that justification to spend the money) got me thinking about setting up for success.
It's a common phrase when talking about training animals. You want to set your pet up for success. It's why my foster cats spend at least a week confined to the bathroom in my tiny studio apartment. It's inconvenient as heck for me, but it gives them and Toby a chance to become used to each others' scents. If you just throw two cats together, it's very likely that something will go wrong, especially if it's the home territory for one of those cats. Once things go bad between two cats, it takes a long time and a lot of difficulty for the people to get things back to neutral. So I set Toby up for success, I wait and I have patience.
When I do introduce the cats, it's always observed and for short periods of time and they get separated as soon as either seems upset or anxious. I think this is why I've only had one incident in the time I've been fostering. And that cat leaped for Toby as soon as he caught a glimpse. Toby tried to turn tail and run, but the foster got a good enough swipe in that he ended up needing to see the vet for an infected abscess. I tried to set them up for success that time but failed. It's okay though. I'm human and humans sometimes fail. Thankfully nothing worse happened.
But with the shopping Saturday, I realized I was taking one small step toward setting myself up for success, but that I needed to do more because I had been setting myself up failure every morning.
I've been trying to get out of the apartment earlier in the morning. I'm not a morning person whatsoever. I've tried, but I'm not. So it comes down to my morning routine, making sure it's stress free (because of how I am, anxiety can affect me pretty badly in the mornings) and quick. I realized today that I've been setting myself up for failure in the mornings by having a closet mostly full of clothes that don't fit. Which every morning not only reminds me of an area of my life that (especially when tired and cranky) I can consider a failure, but also means I spend time pawing through my closet seeing blouses I used to love to wear to work, that I can't wear.
Back in the fall I wentthrough my apartment and round up two large storage bins worth of items to donate (including the storage bins--see Studio apartment mentioned above). It included shoes I haven't worn in years, books I never reread, random clutter I had no need or use for, and clothes that were more than two sizes too small or that I simply didn't like. But I kept a lot of blouses that were too small because I loved them and jackets that my upper arms can't fit into. I don't want to give them away because I really do think that, within a year, I'll fit back into them. However, I just left them in my closet cluttering it up and giving me trouble in the mornings.
When Toby was chewing paper towels and waking me up at 3am, I realized that I wasn't setting him up for success by leaving the roll of paper towels out after cleaning. So (and this I realize is obvious) I removed the towels and did set him up for success. Now, most nights, I make sure that the roll is places in a drawer or on the fridge--out of Toby's normal nighttime prowling routine. When I remember to do this--I don't wake up at 3am to the sound of Toby eating a roll of paper towels.
Why wasn't I doing this with myself? Why wasn't I removing the obstacle to my morning success? Probably because it was easier with Toby to see the situation clearly. I still sometimes make mistakes--while sick I woke up to Toby curled up in a bed of clean lotion tissues he had pulled out of the box that I had left on the cocktail table. Overall, it's not personal for me to look at Toby and analyze his environment and influences when trying to figure out why he isn't doing what I want him to do. With myself? I just thought it was my own darn fault I couldn't get an outfit together in the mornings.
Well, yes and no. It was my fault. It was my fault that I didn't set myself up for success. What woman could quickly put together an outfit staring at a closet full of ill-fitting clothes? So...I set myself up for success. Before putting away the fruits of my shopping laborsI took everything out of the closet that doesn't fit me perfectly right now. Now, I'm not following the usual advice for clutterbugs and getting rid of it immediately. I'm doing a version of Apartment Therapy's outbox. They're in a box in my closet and not in my way. I won't even open that box until I notice my current clothes are getting loose. I'll reevaluate in a year. Right now, having those clothes in a box on the floor of my closet means I'll be set up for success in the mornings.
I'll also be reminded to do laundry more by how empty the closet looks. You have no idea how easy it is to put off doing laundry when your closet "appears" to be full of clothes still.
I think I need to do this more often, look at failures in my life not as simply something I haven't been able to do, but separate from it the way I do with Toby. With Toby I look at what tempts him into "bad" behavior and then figure out if there is an easy way to remove the temptation. I need to just do that for myself. So from now on, I'm setting myself up for success. When I find myself repeatedly engaging in behavior I don't like, I'll look at what tempted me into that behavior and do what I can to remove that temptation.
I should show myself the same understanding and kindness I show to Toby and the animals at the shelter. We all should.
Showing posts with label human behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label human behavior. Show all posts
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Image Issues
"some freakish, garish beauty pageant" was used by a:
A. Mamapop reader to describe Toddlers in Tiaras
B. pop culture aficionado to describe Lady Gaga's music videos
C. veterinarian to describe the UK's biggest dog fancying dog show
If you guessed C, you're right! Wayne Pacelle quoted the RSPCA's Dr. Evans in his post about dog shows and the documentary showing that, in the UK at least, the pursuit of the "ideal" conformation is leading to severe inbreeding and serious diseases and disabilities for dogs.
Now, I am not opposed to responsible breeders who genuinely want to improve the genetic stock of the breed. I hope that collies are still around in 50 years and I know that likely takes work. There's a wonderful breeder I know via a book club who also rescues stray dogs and carefully controls her small breeding operation. I do think that breeding should be regulated and should have more than a physical appearance as a goal. I think that the health of the animals should be first and foremost in a breeder's plan.
When the pursuit of pet pulchritude leads to widespread genetic problems or animals who can't do normal animal things, there's something wrong.
On the opposite side are those people who care so little about how their animal looks that the animal also ends up sick. My first foster cat was never brushed and allowed to get so fat that he couldn't groom himself. As a result, poor Nik had severe painful matting on his back that had to be shaved off when he came to the shelter. A cat who doesn't groom himself, like Keen before he settled in at casa-la-Bethany, is showing signs of depression that should be addressed. Mange, fleas, matting, and more can all be results of a lack of grooming.
It doesn't surprise me that people go to both ends of the grooming spectrum with pets, we do it with ourselves. This country seems to be constantly worrying about eating disorders that range from anorexia to food addictions--sticks to stouts? Lucy March touched on the issue of women dressing in baggy gray clothes. Penelope Trunk has written multiple times about how people shoot themselves in the foot by not dressing well and taking care of their appearance (I disagree that this should include $80 eyebrow waxings, I enjoy reading her but I don't always agree with her specifics).
My response: recommitting myself to responsible grooming for my pet(s) and myself. Keen doesn't have any health issues now because he is licking himself again, but his white paws are looking a little dingy so I'll give them a gentle cleaning with some great smelling cat foam. Me, I'll break down and buy new jeans so I'll look great at my adoption event this weekend. Penelope did say that better looking sales people have higher sales so maybe this will help me get more dogs adopted ;)
Really, I'm shopping for the dogs.
A. Mamapop reader to describe Toddlers in Tiaras
B. pop culture aficionado to describe Lady Gaga's music videos
C. veterinarian to describe the UK's biggest dog fancying dog show
If you guessed C, you're right! Wayne Pacelle quoted the RSPCA's Dr. Evans in his post about dog shows and the documentary showing that, in the UK at least, the pursuit of the "ideal" conformation is leading to severe inbreeding and serious diseases and disabilities for dogs.
Now, I am not opposed to responsible breeders who genuinely want to improve the genetic stock of the breed. I hope that collies are still around in 50 years and I know that likely takes work. There's a wonderful breeder I know via a book club who also rescues stray dogs and carefully controls her small breeding operation. I do think that breeding should be regulated and should have more than a physical appearance as a goal. I think that the health of the animals should be first and foremost in a breeder's plan.
When the pursuit of pet pulchritude leads to widespread genetic problems or animals who can't do normal animal things, there's something wrong.
On the opposite side are those people who care so little about how their animal looks that the animal also ends up sick. My first foster cat was never brushed and allowed to get so fat that he couldn't groom himself. As a result, poor Nik had severe painful matting on his back that had to be shaved off when he came to the shelter. A cat who doesn't groom himself, like Keen before he settled in at casa-la-Bethany, is showing signs of depression that should be addressed. Mange, fleas, matting, and more can all be results of a lack of grooming.
It doesn't surprise me that people go to both ends of the grooming spectrum with pets, we do it with ourselves. This country seems to be constantly worrying about eating disorders that range from anorexia to food addictions--sticks to stouts? Lucy March touched on the issue of women dressing in baggy gray clothes. Penelope Trunk has written multiple times about how people shoot themselves in the foot by not dressing well and taking care of their appearance (I disagree that this should include $80 eyebrow waxings, I enjoy reading her but I don't always agree with her specifics).
My response: recommitting myself to responsible grooming for my pet(s) and myself. Keen doesn't have any health issues now because he is licking himself again, but his white paws are looking a little dingy so I'll give them a gentle cleaning with some great smelling cat foam. Me, I'll break down and buy new jeans so I'll look great at my adoption event this weekend. Penelope did say that better looking sales people have higher sales so maybe this will help me get more dogs adopted ;)
Really, I'm shopping for the dogs.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Let's Get Along
In a time when we have negative campaign ads and vicious politics highlighting how little people get along with members of their own species, there comes hope from the animal world. Feuerstein and Terkel published the results of a study exploring the relationship between cats and dogs in Applied Animal Behaviour Science .
An old cliche about people who don't get along is that they "fight like cats and dogs." We categorize people as cat and dog people partially because we think cats and dogs don't naturally get along. Many people even use this as a criteria for who to date. When Ted in How I Met Your Mother states "I'm a dog person, I'm attracted to other dog people" and then is shocked to find out that his girlfriend loves cats, few viewers found his reaction odd.
I think they're both right. I'm a cat and dog lady. Cats and dogs can get along. It is not unnatural or abnormal for cats and dogs to form social bonds. Well, no more unnatural than training them to come to their names, sit for treats, or put up with a good brushing (my cat does all of those and is described by others as being dog-like because of this). Consider it animal bipartisanship.
Feuerstein and Terkel support this idea with their results. Their study showed that cats and dogs can become friends, especially when the animal's first meeting with a member of the other species is at a young age. Feuerstein and Terkel even found that dogs could understand a cat's body language, even when the meaning from a dog would be the complete opposite of that from a cat. Cats were able to do the same. The gender of the animals didn't matter at all in terms of how they get along.
Can this translate to human beings? Not all cats and dogs are able to get along with members of the other species. I doubt that there will be a day when all humans are able to get along with all humans. I do think that we can learn from cats and dogs how to understand behavior that seems completely opposite to us. Cats understand dogs best when they meet them at a young age. Let's work on this with kids. Let's introduce kids of all types and let them play in the sandbox together. Diversity works for dogs and cats, I bet it'll work with humans.
An old cliche about people who don't get along is that they "fight like cats and dogs." We categorize people as cat and dog people partially because we think cats and dogs don't naturally get along. Many people even use this as a criteria for who to date. When Ted in How I Met Your Mother states "I'm a dog person, I'm attracted to other dog people" and then is shocked to find out that his girlfriend loves cats, few viewers found his reaction odd.
I think they're both right. I'm a cat and dog lady. Cats and dogs can get along. It is not unnatural or abnormal for cats and dogs to form social bonds. Well, no more unnatural than training them to come to their names, sit for treats, or put up with a good brushing (my cat does all of those and is described by others as being dog-like because of this). Consider it animal bipartisanship.
Feuerstein and Terkel support this idea with their results. Their study showed that cats and dogs can become friends, especially when the animal's first meeting with a member of the other species is at a young age. Feuerstein and Terkel even found that dogs could understand a cat's body language, even when the meaning from a dog would be the complete opposite of that from a cat. Cats were able to do the same. The gender of the animals didn't matter at all in terms of how they get along.
Can this translate to human beings? Not all cats and dogs are able to get along with members of the other species. I doubt that there will be a day when all humans are able to get along with all humans. I do think that we can learn from cats and dogs how to understand behavior that seems completely opposite to us. Cats understand dogs best when they meet them at a young age. Let's work on this with kids. Let's introduce kids of all types and let them play in the sandbox together. Diversity works for dogs and cats, I bet it'll work with humans.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)